it's raining again...

as i said when i started this... there is a beginning, a middle and an end.  thank you readers.  the necessity of this is there; at an end.  good night and good luck.

lick.

Nowhere - Rough Draft One

What is the fantasy with running away? Where is it you hope to be?

Why would you want to see somewhere else? Who would you like to see?

Following the same crashing path and wondering why your here again.

The same old road to nowhere is done winding around the bend.

The fire burns all the same as it always has before.

Find yourself a life to be happy with and pull yourself off the floor.

She will BE loved

haven't written in a while. lost my way. lost my grandma. unhappy at work. grumpy at home. holidays suck this year. no money. no time. upcoming surgery. bah. not liking things right now.

in the colors

what a wondrous world i see staring through the window biting my lip, anticipating your arrival the car is on the drive and the bees are buzzing and the birds a flapping and the wind is blowing the clouds are a little dark, but your coming, you said you would the wind picks up a little and the smallest rain drops fall from the single cloud, crashing to the ground stupid rain you wouldn't change your plans because of a single rain cloud, you are coming, I am sure of it.

Where is the love in the colors that are painted dark by the world? I see the happy thought. You are coming. I know it.

Stupid rain clouds, stupid plans, stupid, bad mean world. I wanted to see you. I wanted you to come and see me. You won't though. Not in the rain. You hate the rain.

I rise from my chair and slump across the hall, gazing at the others. Happy for them. I look out the room - and - you are there. I hug you. My moment is here. I walk to my room and leave you there with them.

Night.

what will is take you

do you ever wonder why?

i do. a lot lately. how late is it? is the time over? did i miss it?

i wonder if i am a waste... gw bush made the comment that there are the haves and the have nots... where am I?

shut up... stand up! walk straight!

or make em me or make em you

make em laugh, make em cry, make em lay down and die...

do you know what i'm am going through right now?... a piece. a small piece of shitcake... i want to do something better - but I am so afraid of failure... how do you know when the chance is worth it?

it was dark all around... when the tigers broke free...

what is worth fighting for? ahhhhh.....

jesus, jesus what's it all about?

i know what i should do, I am just so fucking scared to do it... so what... i take a chance a risk... i can be great... i think i can...

sweetheart, sweetheart are you fast asleep?

there is something that I have locked away.

the answer is in there i just need to find it... you know, I think I am like Locke on LOST. Hiding myself to help everyone else...

floating down, through the clouds, memories come rushing up to meet me now.

i had a dream...

i will not be him... i will not fail. fuck you. I can succeed. i am not a failure.

... and hold on the the dream!

i can do better. I will. I promise. I love you all. Thanks for listening. L8r.